Cold showers. Tasmania. OCD/DPDR & houses.
Now that was a seriously big title for a blog.
But wow. Life is movinnngggggg. A few weeks ago (4 to be exact) I was NOT in a good place. At all. I’d fallen deeply into depersonalization/obsessive thought (ocd) land again (DP is a form of dissociation that comes from high anxiety) and I was having sessions with a DP/DR specialist who REALLY helped me to get my life back on track; well he certainly helped but also I came to a big realisation in recovery from anxiety…..
-Whilst it’s good to lean on others, you sometimes need to save yourself.-
I used to just think a therapist would fix me if I went to sessions and did my homework… and again, that all still helps but the bulk of any transformation really comes from your OWN work.
I’m now 1 month into recovery and I can safely say I’m feeling SO MUCH BETTER. I’m 4 weeks into taking St John’s Wort (my antidepressant of choice), 4 weeks into my first ever running training (I’m up to 3.5kms in 20min YAYYY), 4 weeks into every other day of yoga or hiit training AND 4 weeks into COLD SHOWERS!! I know all of things work together as a team BUT I really feel that the running and cold showers have lowered my anxiety and depression in ways I can’t even express in words.
I’m a new person. (Skip to the bottom of the blog if you just want my life update on my new house/Tasmania/etc — In bold).
I don’t generally feel anxious. I can go out with my friends and not consistently think about getting home to my “safe place”. I can work a sweat and not feel like I’m going to panic and die. It’s freeing.
Here’s a quick run down on how running & separate (obvs lol) cold showers help your life:
- Running and cold showers are HARD, they help you build resilience. You’re rarely going to be chomping at the bit to go for either… but you ALWAYS feel more energy/happiness afterwards.
- On the happiness note — both produce some serious serotonin/oxytocin- the things we need when we’re depressed/sad/anxious/ocd’ing/stressed etc.
- When starting both of these exercises, GO EASYYY! Start running 5–10mins a day and work on TIME not pace. Start with just 15 seconds of cold shower water maybe just on your arms and legs…. work up!
- Cold showers are harder for women vs men due to the fact that a lot of us menstruate. The torso area will be the most challenging part of doing cold showers but just trust the process.
- ALLOW ALL THE FEELINGS WHEN RUNNING AND DOING COLD SHOWERS. Don’t expect it to be nice. It won’t be. Expect to feel hot and gross and sweaty after a run (if you have anxiety then expect to feel dizzy and scared too). Expect to feel COLD, out of breath and shivery during a cold shower. It’s not nicey-wiceyyyy. It’s just good for us though.
- Both of these exercises creates this bad ass sense of resilience and power within us. I can’t express how much STRONGER I feel now. I feel like a natural warrior and just closer to nature and my true self after doing these 2 things.
- There will be days you don’t want to run or have a cold shower…. I understand. Maybe give yourself a break OR maybe compromise… instead of a 20min run, how about 5 mins and instead of a 3 min cold shower, how about 2mins of almost cold water with a tiny bit of hot added? Listen to your body and feel no guilt about your decisions.
- Lastly — Running and cold showers BOTH make your life easier. No joke. I used to run away at the sight of the ocean on a cold day, or really FEEEELLL that cold rain on my skin when running to the car with my shopping…. now, I don’t flinch! I jump in all the water, I love running in the rain, I welcome the cold. Same with running, I used to huff and puff a bit if the escalator was broken at the store, now? NOTHING. I take all the stairs, I can power down to the coffee shop and back at work in quicker time vs getting my car out of the carpark and parking again! It’s a good feeling.
So there you have it. Have I made a good case for running and cold showers? I hope so. Again, just go easy- Rome wasn’t built in a day… or two days even ok.
NOW- life UPDATE.
I’m probably building my own home. WHAT!? Yesterday I got some wonderful news from the bank and with all the first home buyer grants wandering about at the moment, it’s actually do-able for me. It’s been the most hectic few days of bank meetings, solicitors, builders, real estate agents, developers etc…. but it’s nearlyyyy real. I made my own home design from scratch (EEK) and the builder actually LIKED IT??? And he’s drawing it up. Like, how? What? I’m so excited but I also don’t want to get all my hopes and dreams up YET as the contract will be at least 35days from when I sign (haven’t even signed yet) so that’s a lot of time for a fall through….. So yeah, beyond excited about this. Mayyyyy have bought 5 home magazines yesterday… maybe haha.
Next up on the life update front, I’m going to Tasmania in April. I have a very annoying (to say the least) fear of flying that is going to be tackled on this trip with no valium, no xanax & no alcohol. It’s going to be hard but I’ll write a blog all about that when the time comes. But I’m just SO excited to go somewhere again and tbh, to NOT be gigging. I really want to just immerse myself in fully enjoying a trip with no work obligations. Where should we go? Any recommendations?
Lastly, music. My band and I have been FRANTICLY working away on some VERY exciting new projects. I can’t spill all yet but my god I can’t wait to show you. On the solo EP front… that’s a bit slower I won’t lie but I have some songs that are almost ready for the studio… It’s all coming together and I can’t wait to show it all off.
Oh AND before I go, I’m going to my first ever new moon ceremony on Sat night. Scaryyyy and exciting! I’m trying new things, new things I wouldn’t have tried if I had never had to get outside my comfort zone from DP/DR. So not everything is bad that comes from hardship that’s for sure.
Anyway — I love yas all and if you made it to the end you deserve a medal. Thanks to the readers I have here. I think there’s only about 30 of you but I don’t care, tbh this is even just for myself for a memory log/diary. xx